The Secret To Finding Your Soulmate by Bill Knell
The Secret To Finding Your Soulmate
by Bill Knell
Over the years It wasn't unusual for me to hear a guy or girl say, “I've finally met my soulmate”. That usually said after one or more divorces and tons of breakups in their lives. Women are somewhat jealous of newbies who say they have found their true love on the first try and sometimes attempt to do the same. Men tend to marry later these days hoping that their relationships wheel of fortune will give them a winner.
All this is complicated by the tsunami of video posts. Most are by women of all ages hoping to find that special guy; golddiggers seeking guys who will send money now and ask questions later; and spring chickies looking for a quicky (young girl's looking to get laid). Men have very male attitudes when it comes to making videos thinking that by showing off their nice rides, nice jobs, nice muscles and awesome tatoos, they will attract the girl or girls they want.
Those not interested in doing videos tend to levitate towards online dating sites. These can be very helpful as long as the people that garner their interest share honest photos, information and are truthful about their preferences, likes and dislikes. Fortunately, most relationship candidates have moved from false sentiments pick up lines like “I enjoy quiet walks on the beach and romantic liasons with someone special” to far more honest statements like “I live in the city and enjoy the urban lifestyle”.
One advantage that dating sites have over other ways of finding people you might like are that some are gender and religious affiliation specific. Christians tend to want to save time by trying sites geared towards them, rather then having to start conversations on regular dating sites to find out about their religious leanings, or if they even have any?
Another advantage is that the owners of dating sites understand the power of feedback; both positive and negative. Anyone who has found success is likely to leave positive feedback, and praise their site to single friends and relatives. Those who had negative experiences will often use every method possible to berate the site and persons they feel wronged them.
Some singles hope to recreate the apparent bliss of their parent's relationship. Others want to avoid a painful breakup they witnessed. The problem is that each generation has had its own view and values about relationships.
Victorian values permitted men to whip their wives if dinner was late. During the Roaring 20s it was girls gone wild and guys loving it. The post depression and post war years ushered in the idea of staying together for life. Because of that, there was always some room for daliences.
The 1960s and 1970s brought us the free love generation which made loving fun, but also caused a constant stream of unwanted pregnancies and social diseases. The 1980s and 1990s made it OK to be gay and lesbian which brought a lot of people out of the closet and into the mainstream.
The 2000s have fathered many differing types of lifestyles, sexual and gender preferences. From “furries” (people who try to dress up and act like animals) to those who are transgender, preferring to live, act and dress like their opposite sex. So, as you go about trying to find a match in these confusing times, how do you find a soul mate?
First, you have to take a close look at yourself and make a mental list of all the things you prefer, do, are and aren't.
Second, you must decide if you should marry, or just remain single and enjoy as few or as many relations as you like. Even some celebrities have made the choice not to marry. These include Wynona Ryder, Al Pacino, Oprah Winfrey, Goldie Hawn and John Cusack to name just a few.
Third, make honesty your only policy. If you plan on dating (and whatever else) several people at one time, let them all know so they won't suddenly discover your profile on Tinder and cause a blow up nobody needs.
Fourth, look for people who have the same basic preferences and choices in life that you do. Never let just a physical attraction or certain look you like cause you to make a choice you may later regret.
Fifth and finally, don't settle for someone who doesn't meet your emotional or other likes and needs. I have known couples who constantly tried to get their mates to look or act a certain way so they could feel emotionally or sexually satisfied. For example, I am a freckle fanatic. Every relationship I have ever had included a girl with freckles; the more they had, the more I felt satisfaction. Sometimes I made choices just on that and those did not end well. Fortunately, I have never been divorced because, more times than not, I have practiced what I preach.
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