Excuses For Being Late
BEST EXCUSES FOR BEING LATE:
TRANSPORTATION:
- My car broke down.
- My brakes gave out and I was almost killed.
- My car wouldn't start.
- Someone broke my windshield and I couldn't see to drive, so I had to take a taxi.
- There was a bad accident and I had to wait for air rescue to take off.
- My car was stolen.
- I got a ticket for going a couple of miles above the speed limit! Haven't they got anything better to do?
- My bike was stolen.
- My car was involved in an accident.
- I missed my bus.
- I missed my train.
- My bus broke down.
- My train broke down.
- My bus was late.
- My train was late.
- I got stuck in the snow.
- I had to dig my car out of the snow and get stuck a couple of times.
- My neighbor's car wouldn't start, so I waited a couple of extra minutes to give him a ride. He did the same for me once and I owed him the favor.
- I had to give my mom (dad, brother, sister, relative, best friend) a ride to the doctor (dentist, store, market) before I could head out.
ILLNESS/PERSONAL:
- I wasn't feeling well and over slept.
- I was up half the night because of a noisy party next door, so I over slept.
- My upstairs neighbor was fighting with his wife all night and I couldn't get any sleep, so I over slept.
- I had a touch of food poisoning last night and over slept.
- The power went out in my area and my alarm clock didn't go off.
- I was snowed in and had to get my neighbor to dig me out.
- I fell because my idiot neighbor won't fix his sidewalk and had to change clothes, so that made me late.
- My Mom (sister, son, daughter, relative) called, she wasn't feeling well and I wanted to be sure everything was alright before I got off the phone with her.
- I dropped my books, everything fell out and it took a while to pick it all up.
- I dropped my laptop and had to leave it at a repair shop.
- I couldn't find my cell phone.
- My wife (mom, dad, brother, sister, relative, friend) borrowed my cell phone and I had to stop and get it back before heading out.
- I had to pick up a new cell phone battery or I would be out of touch all day. - I had a major water leak and couldn't get the water shut off.
LOST STUFF:
- I (or your wife, kids, friend) lost one of my school books and I lost track of time trying to find it.
- I couldn't find my keys and had to track down my (wife, kids, friend, relatives) for a spare set.
- My printer wasn't working and I needed to print up some homework, so I stopped at a friend's house and used theirs.
ANIMALS:
- My dog/cat got out the door and I had to catch it before some car ran it over.
- My dog died and I had to take care of that.
- My dog was sick and I had to drop him/her at the Vet.
My dog/cat got into the house and made a mess. I had to clean it up before leaving. Somebody left a stray dog/cat tied to my door so I had to take care of that before leaving.
WORST EXCUSES FOR BEING LATE:
- I needed to wait for a fresh batch of donuts.
- The coffee was stale, so I waited while they brewed a fresh pot.
- I ran out of gas.
- A dog bit me.
- I over slept.
- My wife and I had an argument.
- My garage door opener broke.
- I had to stand on line at the post office.
- I had to wait on line at the bank.
- I had to stop at the bank.
- That delivery (errand) took longer then I thought it would.
- Some guys tried to mug me.
- I couldn't find the tickets (to the theater, show, event).
- I ran over a cat/dog.
- I hit a dedeer.
FUNNY EXCUSES FOR BEING LATE:
- Actually, I've been here for over 20 minutes, big guy -- I was just out chillin' in the van waiting for the end of the live version of 'Freebird'.
- I keep forgetting which side of the International Date Line you're on.
- We're *open* on Tuesdays?
- It took this long to get the ol' blood alcohol level down to the legal driving limit.
- I had to take extra time this morning to wrestle with overwhelming aggressive impulses by reassuring myself that nothing would happen today that would push me over the edge.
- My proctologist got stuck.
- It was Senator Kennedy's turn to drive today, so I've spent the last hour swimming.
- I'm late because I was on the phone trying to get *your* shipping department to send the company's office supplies directly to the winner of my eBay auction.
- Hey, time becomes meaningless when you're as strung out on crystal meth as I am.
- Sorry, sir. I overslept and dreamt I had a dead-end job, a windowless office and a humorless baboon for a boss.
- Heidi Klum refused to untie me.
- On the second Tuesday of the month, the Campho-Phenique man comes by to fill the drum for my home supply of industrial-strength anti-canker sore gel.
- I'm sorry, boss, but I had to stop to get you -- uh -- this box of ten donuts.
- It took me a little longer than normal to hide my disdain this morning... Sir.
- My dog ate my presentation, sir. And by 'my dog' I mean your wife, and by 'ate my presentation' I mean 'was boinking me'.
- These are not the 'droids you're looking for.
- My arm got stuck in the blood pressure machine at K-Mart.
- I'm not late! I'm early for tomorrow.
- I was busy arranging boxes of stolen office supplies.
- I felt it was better to sleep at home rather than at the office.
- I drove to the place I'd rather work at by mistake.
- I'm not late. I decided to change my hours to make them more convenient.
- I tried a new way in to work and it took me two hours.
- I'm a newlywed. Do you want me to continue?
- John Smith, one of our biggest CLIENTS, was stranded with a flat tire...
- Traffic jam caused by stopped clan of tibetan yak herders.
- The bartender wouldn't let me leave.
- I saw a bright shiny object.
- I'm not late, your early.
- Your wife didn't have my breakfast ready on time.
- The wind was blowing against me.
- I was delayed by a rip in the space-time continuum.
- My dog ate my alarm clock.
- The bell for happy hour just ended.
- I removed my own apendix with a tire iron.
- A Squeegy guy got caught in my windshield wiper.
- My wife said she lost her wedding ring, but I found it at the neighbor's house.
- I was playing games on my cell phone and missed my stop.
- I hit a mountain lion on the way to work.
- Sorry, I had to work late at my other job.
- I couldn't find my car.
- I forgot what day it was.
- My favorite actress got married. I needed time alone.
- I was in a plane crash.
- My dog swallowed my car keys.
- The line at Starbucks was out the door.
- I was busy stalking my old girl friend.
- I had to shoot my husband and clean up the mess before the police came.
- I was at confession and did alot of bad things this week, so it took longer.
- I had to stop and drop off my scheduled monthly donation at the Home for Unwed Mothers.
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